Saturday, November 15, 2014

Beyond Life ~ "Through the Light"

(I feel very proud to share this fantastic article. I wanted its light to be part of this Blog. The credits of the blog is to the link given below

In 1982 I died from terminal cancer. My condition was non-operable.

I chose not to have chemotherapy. I was given six to eight months to live. Before this time, I had become increasingly despondent over the nuclear crisis, the ecology crisis, and so forth. 
I came to believe that nature had made a mistake - that we were probably a cancerous organism on the planet. And that is what eventually killed me. Before my death, I tried all sorts of alternative healing methods. None helped.
So I determined that this was between me and God. I had never really considered God. Neither was I into any kind of spirituality, but my approaching death sent me on a quest for more information about spirituality and alternative healing. I read various religions and philosophies. They gave hope that there was something on the other side.
I had no medical insurance, so my life savings went overnight on tests. Unwilling to drag my family into this, I determined to handle this myself. I ended up in hospice care and was blessed with an angel for my hospice caretaker, whom I will call "Anne." She stayed with me through all that was to follow. It lasted about eighteen months.


I woke up about 4:30 am and I knew that this was it. I was going to die. I called a few friends and said good-bye. I woke up Anne and made her promise that my dead body would remain undisturbed for six hours, since I had read that all kinds of interesting things happen when you die. I went back to sleep.
The next thing I remember, I was fully aware and standing up. Yet my body was lying in the bed. I seemed to be surrounded by darkness, yet I could see every room in the house, and the roof, and even under the house.

A Light shone; I turned toward it, and was aware of its similarity to what others have described in near-death experiences. It was magnificent and tangible, alluring. I wanted to go towards that Light like I might want to go into my ideal mother's or father's arms. As I moved towards the Light, I knew that if I went into the Light, I would be dead. So I said/felt, "Please wait. I would like to talk to you before I go."

The entire experience halted. I discovered that I was in control of the entire experience. My request was honoured. I had conversations with the Light. That's the best way I can describe it. The Light changed into different figures, like Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, mandalas, archetypal images and signs. I asked in a kind of telepathy, "What is going on here?"

The information transmitted was that our beliefs shape the kind of feedback we receive: If you are a Buddhist or Catholic or Fundamentalist, you get a feedback loop of your own images. I became aware of a Higher Self matrix, a conduit to the Source. We all have a Higher Self, or an oversoul part of our being, a conduit. All Higher Selves are connected as one being, all humans are connected as one being. We are literally the same being. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It was like all the love you've every wanted, and it was the kind of love that cures, heals, regenerates.

I was ready to go at that time. I said "I am ready, take me." Then the Light turned into the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen: a mandala of human souls on this planet. I saw that we are the most beautiful creations - elegant, exotic . . .everything. I just cannot say enough about how it changed my opinion of human beings in an instant.

I said/thought/felt, "Oh, God, I didn't realize." I was astonished to find that there was no evil in any soul. People may do terrible things out of ignorance and lack, but no soul is evil. What all people seek, what sustains them, is love, the Light told me. What distorts people is a lack of love.

The revelations went on and on. I asked, "Does this mean that humankind will be saved?" Like a trumpet blast with a shower of spiraling lights, the Light "spoke," saying, "You save, redeem and heal yourself. You always have and always will. You were created with the power to do so from before the beginning of the world."

In that instant I realized that WE HAVE ALREADY BEEN SAVED; this is what the "Second Coming" is about. I thanked the Light of God with all my heart. The best thing I could come up with was: "Oh dear God, dear Universe, dear Great Self, I love my Life."

The Light seemed to breathe me in even more deeply, absorbing me. I entered into another realm more profound than the last, and was aware of an enormous stream of Light, vast and full, deep. I asked what it was.

The Light answered, "This is the RIVER OF LIFE. Drink of this manna water to your heart's content." I drank deeply, in ecstasy.


Suddenly I seemed to be rocketing away from the planet on this stream of Life. I saw the earth fly away. The solar system, whizzed by and disappeared. I flew through the center of the galaxy, absorbing more knowledge as I went. I learned that this galaxy, and all of the Universe, is bursting with many different varieties of life. I saw many worlds. We are not alone in this Universe.

It seemed as if all the creations in the Universe soared past me and vanished in a speck of Light. Almost immediately, a second Light appeared. As I passed into the second Light, I could perceive forever, beyond Infinity. I was in the Void, pre-Creation, the beginning of time, the first Word or vibration. I rested in the Eye of Creation and it seemed that I touched the Face of God. It was not a religious feeling. I was simply at One with Absolute Life and Consciousness.

It would take me years to assimilate the Void experience. It was less than nothing yet greater than anything. Creation is God exploring God's Self through every way imaginable. Through every piece of hair on your head, through every leaf on every tree, through every atom, God is exploring God's Self. I saw everything as the Self of all. God is here. That's what it is all about.

Everything is made of light; everything is alive.


I rode the stream directly into the center of the Light. I felt embraced by the Light as it took me in with its breath again. And the truth was obvious that there is no death; that nothing is born and nothing dies; that we are immortal beings, part of a natural living system that recycles itself endlessly. I was never told that I had to come back. I just knew that I would. It was only natural, from what I had seen.

As I began my return to the life cycle, it never crossed my mind, nor was I told, that I would return to the same body. It did not matter. I had complete trust in the Light and the Life process. As the stream merged with the great Light, I asked never to forget the revelations and the feelings of what I had learned on the other side.

I thought of myself as a human again and I was happy to be that. From what I have seen, I would be happy to be an atom in this universe. An atom. So to be the human part of God ... this is the most fantastic blessing. It is a blessing beyond our wildest estimation of what blessing can be. For each and every one of us to be the human part of this experience is awesome, and magnificent. Each and every one of us, no matter where we are, screwed up or not, is a blessing to the planet, right where we are.

So I went through the reincarnation process expecting to be a baby somewhere. But I reincarnated back into this body. I was so surprised when I opened my eyes, to be back in this body, back in my room with someone looking over me, crying her eyes out. It was "Anne," my hospice caretaker. She had found me dead thirty minutes before.

We do not know how long I was dead, only that she found me thirty minutes before. She had honoured my wish to have my newly-dead body left alone. She can verify that I really was dead. It was not a near-death experience. I believe I probably experienced death itself for at least an hour and a half. When I awakened and saw the light outside. Confused, I tried to get up to go to it, but I fell out of the bed. She heard a loud "clunk", ran in and found me on the floor.

When I recovered, I was surprised and awed about what had happened, I had no memory at first of the experience. I kept slipping out of this world and kept asking, "Am I alive?" This world seemed more like a dream than that one. Within three days, I was feeling normal again, clearer, yet different than ever before. My memories of the journey came back later. But from my return I could find nothing wrong with any human being I had ever seen. Previous to my death I was judgmental, believing that people were really screwed up. Everyone but me.

About three months later a friend said I should get tested for the cancer, so I got the scans and so forth. I felt healthy. I still remember the doctor at the clinic looking at the "before" and "after" scans. He said, "I can find no sign of cancer now."

"A miracle?" I asked.

"No," he answered. These things happen . . . spontaneous remission." He seemed unimpressed. But I was impressed, and knew it was a miracle.


The Great Mystery of life has little to do with intelligence. The universe is not an intellectual process. The intellect is helpful; but our hearts are the wiser part of ourselves.

Since my return I have experienced the Light spontaneously, and I have learned how to get to that space almost any time in my meditation. You can also do this. You do not have to die first. You are wired for it already.

The body is the most magnificent Light being there is. The body is a universe of incredible Light. Spirit is not pushing us to dissolve this body. We don't need to commune with God; God is communing with us in every moment.

I asked God: "What is the best religion on the planet? Which one is right?" 

God said with great love: "I don't care." 

What an incredible grace. It does not matter what religion we are. Religions come and they go, they change. Buddhism has not been here forever, Catholicism has not been here forever, and they are all about to become more enlightened. More light is coming into all systems now.

Many will resist and fight about it, one religion against the next, believing that only they are right. When Godhead said, "I don't care," I understood that it is for us to care about, because we are the caring beings. The Source does not care if you are Protestant, Buddhist, or Jew. Each is a reflection, a facet of the whole. I wish that all religions would realize it and let each other be. It is not the end of separate religions, but live and let live. Each has a different view. And it all adds up to the big picture.

I went over to the other side with a lot of fears about toxic waste, nuclear missiles, the population explosion, the rain forest. I came back loving every single problem. I love nuclear waste. I love the mushroom cloud; this is the holiest mandala that we have manifested to date, as an archetype. More than any religion or philosophy on earth, that terrible, wonderful cloud brought us together all of a sudden, to a new level of consciousness.

Knowing that maybe we can blow up the planet fifty times, or 500 times, we finally realize that maybe we are all here together now. For a period they had to keep setting off more bombs to get it in to us.Then we started saying, "we do not need this any more." Now we are actually in a safer world than we have ever been in, and it is going to get safer. So I came back loving toxic waste, because it brought us together.

These things are so big.

Clearing of the rain forest will slow down, and in fifty years there will be more trees on the planet than in a long time. If you are into ecology, go for it; you are that part of the system that is becoming aware. Go for it with all your might, but do not be depressed or disheartened. Earth is in the process of domesticating itself and we are cells on that Body.

Population increase is getting very close to the optimal range of energy to cause a shift in consciousness. That shift in consciousness will change politics, money, energy.

What happens when we dream? We are multi-dimensional beings. We can access that through lucid dreaming. In fact, this universe is God's dream. One of the things that I saw is that we humans are a speck on a planet that is a speck in a galaxy that is a speck. Those are giant systems out there, and we are in sort of an average system. But human beings are already legendary throughout the cosmos of consciousness.

The little bitty human being of Earth/Gaia is legendary. One of the things that we are legendary for is dreaming. We are legendary dreamers. In fact, the whole cosmos has been looking for the meaning of life, the meaning of it all. And it was the little dreamer who came up with the best answer ever. We dreamed it up. So dreams are important.

After dying and coming back, I really respect life and death. In our DNA experiments we may have opened the door to a great secret. Soon we will be able to live as long as we want to live in this body. After living 150 years or so, there will be an intuitive soul sense that you will want to change channels. Living forever in one body is not as creative as reincarnation, as transferring energy in this fantastic vortex of energy that we are in. We are actually going to see the wisdom of life and death, and enjoy it. As it is now, we have already been alive forever.

Here's to life! Here's to death! Here's to it all!

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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

In His Presence..


Our scriptures declare, that to be born in a human form is a great blessing.
Having received a human form it is a greater blessing when that human desires to know God or the Self.
But the greatest blessing that a human can receive while living is when He comes in contact with a Master, One who is all knowing, One who is awakened in the Self.

As a young boy, I came in contact with an enigmatic figure with a halo of curly hair, known to the world as Sri Sathya Sai Baba. Curious, yet with a heart full of doubts, I ventured to understand Him, to verify Him, to test Him. I acknowledge with deep gratitude that He stood by and encouraged my childish efforts to measure Him. My learning graduated from thinking Him to be a Saint, to a great Mahatma, to a Divine personality, until finally I came to the understanding that He is beyond any understanding.

What I share in this note is not from viewing Him as a Divine Figure, but I simply state what I naturally felt in the presence of His human form. 

Every time I was in the presence of Sri Sathya Sai Baba, I noticed a remarkable change in my whole state of being. My consciousness would be heightened beyond expectations. The mind would go calm as if it ceased to exist. Never before did I feel such acute awareness of that Now moment as then. And underneath it all I could feel overwhelmingly a stream of pure joy and peace flowing within me. I questioned that joy! What caused it? I have never known joy to be without a cause. It is not that Swami said anything or did anything. Merely by being in His presence that state of causeless joy would permeate my being. In no other humans’ presence do I recall feeling remotely close to the state of joyous awareness that I felt in Baba’s presence. If I could sum it all up in a single statement, I felt as if I was existing in a sea of Pure enlightening Love.

My understanding of Him was limited back then. It took me some time to notice that after my first meeting with Him, I would yearn to be close to Him always. I wasn’t the only one; every single person who knew Swami would yearn for that.  I know myself and my sense of devotion, and I couldn’t credit my devotion for being responsible for such an altered state of awareness.

The kind of natural respect and loving reverence His august presence would command is beyond compare to any other beings that I have seen. During special occasions when various world renowned dignitaries or celebrities would gather near Him, their aura of being special would simply pale away to insignificance in His presence. I would greatly delight in watching the reactions of people amongst who Swami moved. All of the thousand’s gathered would quietly and one pointedly be absorbed in Him till He left. And once He left, the vibes changed, people would become their own selves, but carrying within some energy that kept them positively abuzz.

Keeping in view the awe most naturally felt  in His presence, Swami would go out of His way to make people feel at ease, with some endearing remark or perhaps something humorous. Yet every word He uttered would hold some special message or significance.  When He spoke to anyone, He would give that person His fullest attention. For those few seconds you would feel that He existed just for you. I guess that is why the few seconds transformed into eternity, whereas when it was time to leave even if we spent an hour with Him it would feel like minutes. He was/is Timeless. Every ordinary conversation with Him remained etched in one’s memory simply because it would convey such love that it wasn’t out of place to feel emotional and teary.
And yet for someone with such a Himalayan personality, when I recall His demeanor, His words and actions, they were so sweet, so humble, so childlike. He is perfect combination of Supreme Power and Divine Pure Love, Shiva and Shakti.

Seldom have masters uttered the words ‘I Love you’ as easily as we ordinary folks do. Yet they reveal unfathomable love in all their simple actions.
One evening, the boys doing duty at Swami’s residence had vacated their positions to seek blessings from Him. This gave the other boys a bonus opportunity to do that duty and be close to Swami.  Through great fortune I got the best place outside His door from where He was bound to pass. As I was congratulating myself on my good fortune, a certain incident I was involved in a few days back sprung to mind. Deep guilt overwhelmed me. I had done something I was not proud of, and I didn’t think in my heart that I deserved to be standing there in that auspicious position. So I thought of exchanging my place with any of the other, more deserving boys standing there, who would each jump at this opportunity. But to my surprise, try as I may, I couldn’t get the attention of any of them.
And then Swami emerged. There was nothing I could do now. I just didn’t know how to face Him. He blessed the waiting boys and began making His way towards the door. At some distance I noticed Him taking a letter of a devotee from His lap and He began reading it. ‘Perfect’, I thought. It is almost that He was acknowledging my predicament and by focusing on the letter, was preventing eye contact with me, while I could look upon Him at close range. As Swami’s chair was pushed closer, at one point, He suddenly looked up and of all the directions He could look at, His eyes rested directly and deeply into my own. He had the most beautiful smile I have ever seen in this world. I heard a voice resound deep within me that said ‘You see your flaws; I see who you truly are.’ Unknown to me, tears streamed down my eyes, as I could not contain the avalanche of silent love that poured from His motherly gaze. I instantly felt cleansed and pure.
When amongst the many, I observed Swami would be like a little reserved and solemnly, dutifully taking care of all His children. 
When amongst a few, He would be personal and loving. 
When we were by ourselves, He would be like a dear friend - divine, funny, wise and caring.
His relation with each soul was unique. Every story of personal experience that I heard from those who interacted with Him, shed light on some unique sweetness or endearing quality that momentarily revealed an aspect of His cosmic Love.

I recall some rare moments that I got to spent alone with Him; He would then be like an extension of you. I felt that He and I were not separate, that He was mirroring my own higher Self back to me. It was the safest, purest, most loving place I have ever been in. It was heaven on earth. At that moment He uplifted us to His level. Our consciousness would soar high. The ego would be deflated, enjoying being in the presence of the true 'I'. I couldn't see Him as someone in His 70's talking to a boy in His early 20's. He became the same as me, and spoke as an eternal friend! During those moments the direst problem plaguing our lives would seem like child’s play; you wouldn’t care to mention it. But Swami Himself would bring them forward and with such ease and simplicity give solutions by materializing something or making a healing statement like “Don’t worry, cancer is cancelled!” You couldn’t doubt it. You knew it was done. Those miracles He performed or dictums he so simply uttered wouldn’t shock you then. In His presence everything seemed possible.
His humor was beyond compare. Many devotees will bear testimony to this truth. I remember an incident. There was a time when Swami would call me by a certain Telugu name. Once while returning from darshan, He asked me “Do you know what this word means?” 
“Yes Swami!” I replied
“Well, what does it mean?” He asked me curiously.
When I gave Him the reply, He shook with laughter.
A few days later we were standing in a disciplined order, as Swami was to emerge for darshan. Some important state level political personalities were waiting for Swami to emerge. When He came out they immediately started walking behind Him and briefing Him on some urgent matter. While walking Swami looked up briefly towards me and mouthed some words. I couldn’t understand and had a confused look on my face, so He made another attempt and more clearly mouthed those words. It was the same Telugu word that He would tease me with. Considering the solemnity of the occasion, I couldn’t take this childlike yet silent play of Swami and burst out laughing.. Swami too had a merry look in His eyes as He laughed like a little child looking at our direction. A few moments later He was giving a discourse to the thousands gathered revealing the most complex Vedic truths in the simplest manner. 

Amongst children He was a sweet child, 
amongst women He was a loving mother, 
amongst men - a dear father 
and in a crowd – He was Purely Divine.

I recall another incident that stands out in memory. There were times during evening darshans as Swami walked past us boys; He would briefly look at me for perhaps a second or two before we opened the door for Him to the darshan hall. Through that gaze, such a torrent of intense power would enter my being that upon the door closing I would staggeringly make my way to some place where I could sit down. As I was given to introspection and being a self witness, I noticed to my great distress that many long forgotten negative feelings, incidents and traits from the distant past would resurface and cause me great discomfort. I would naturally feel guilty and restless and there was an urgent desire to cleanse those traits and memories away. So I would urgently pray for the same.
This continued for a few days. One day I revealed it all to my mother and said that the next time Swami came, I would close my eyes cause I couldn’t take that immense power and then bear the emerging thoughts and yet face Him or His devotees standing close, who all felt like the embodiments of purity compared to my miserable self. My mother simply said ‘Don’t do so, He is cleansing you.’
The next day this happened again. As I sat down after His leaving, I didn’t resist but let it happen and inwardly remembered a prayer my Guru had taught us “Divine Mother, naughty or good, I am Thy child.” I surrendered and felt at peace within. Another boy from a village standing next to me during darshan also came close and sat. After a few minutes He said to me in His broken English “Brother, don’t you feel that when Swami looks into our eyes, sparks fly from His eyes into us.” I looked at him in surprise and realized that I wasn’t the only one who was receiving this cleansing. There were others too who received the ‘sparks’ of His grace.
I realized over time that most of those past negative memories left me for good, leaving behind a deep resolve to never entertain weaknesses but work always towards inner perfection. Neither did we receive the grace of the sparks again. From then on Swami’s look was the same as before, one of love, smiles and humour.
Conversing with Swami during Trayee duty
Over the years I noticed that not many were permitted by Him to be around His physical presence for long. He would eventually send His close devotees away from Him for some reason or another. We were three friends who always enjoyed and looked forward to being in His presence. He send one away to Australia, the other to Casablanca and me to Mumbai. It took me years to realize His reason behind this. He wanted us to stop relating with Him through His form and start seeking His true presence within. He would often say to us “I am in you, with you, around you always.”

My last interaction with Him took place in an interview room in 2006. But I found His presence growing deep within. The need to meet His form or write letters to Him began decreasing, as His inner voice grew stronger. I no longer rushed to Puttaparthi to seek succor but would spontaneously close my eyes and connect with His unseen presence.
And then in 2011, He gave up His form. I knew He had left but He never let me feel or succumb to the grief of His absence. I realized by and by that His sending me away was His way of preparing me for His earthly departure. Today, when I lovingly bow to His Samadhi, to that sacred form which held His essence for 85 years, I feel His living presence all along.
As I write this note, I keep looking within to seek His approval and find Him constantly smiling at me in return.
Yet sometimes, when old memories resurface and I pine for those days, pat comes His inner voice reminding me 'Seek Innerview, not interview.' Having come down in a human form, He worked on us tirelessly reminding us to connect with our own divinity. Now He has returned to His omnipresence, waiting eagerly to see who amongst us will heed His voice and look for Him deep within. 

Remember, His Mahasamadhi is not the end, it is the beginning!