Friday, August 12, 2016

In the Heart - 2

Mt Kailash ~ Majestic and Shy
                                                                Continued from In the Heart - 1

As if the endless walk towards the base was not enough, the heavens opened up pouring hail from the sky which was followed by an intense but thankfully brief spell of shower. The air suddenly turned chilly. I felt grateful for the waterproof clothes and the thermals within.

Sabu, my cameraman friend, our sherpa and I resumed our journey to the base. My mind was occupied with what took place at the Dolmo la pass.  “He is Shiva”, “She is Shakti” - I kept repeating this to myself as I crossed any male or female. I felt a sense of awe at the revelation though I knew well that unless I could translate this experience to an everyday approach with people known and close to me in my world, it would be of little use.

Walking along, at one point I found myself alone. There was no human presence in front or behind me as far as the eyes could see. Am I on the right path? Did I lose my way? Our guides, during a presentation in our hotel in Nepal mentioned to us that they have witnessed during the numerous koras that if a devotee finds himself alone and is overwhelmed or fearful of having lost their way, a mountain dog will fall in step with the devotee and give him company till some other human comes in sight. I was in for a surprise.
Somewhere along my path, a beautiful, fluffy and rather large rabbit hopped out of the grassy greens onto the path and began hopping in front of me. Its luxurious fur was brown and pure white in colour. The funny thing is it acted curious as well as cautious of me and would hop in front and then stop at a distance, look behind, wait for me to catch up and then hop again as if I was trying to catch it. This drama was very enjoyable. I marvelled at how and why this little creature choose to give me company. Soon it left as abruptly as it had appeared. When I looked in the distance, sure enough I saw my sherpa sitting on a distant rock waiting for me.

The never-ending journey continued and finally - Home Base! Or so I thought finding two of our sherpas sitting casually conversing with one another. But they informed me that our base was yet 30 mins away. They had been sent with some tea to serve us as refreshment knowing that we were walking and shooting our film at the same time and would be exhausted. I was deeply touched at the gesture and relished the 2 teas - a masala chai and a ginger flavour, much favoured by most in our group. We shared the tea with other few pilgrims - the Shivas and the Shaktis, as they crossed us by. Our journey resumed. It was getting dark. A few laborious steps more and we were finally Home!

I was completely drained. A friend called out my name. I could see the bright smile on her face as she greeted me with an embrace knowing I had done the arduous second day of the Kora on foot. So numb was I that I was hardly conscious of my body or the embrace but became aware of something else. 

Even in that fatigued state, I felt a warm tingly sensation at the heart region. Almost like a low voltage current flowing into my heart from her heart like a gushing stream of light. It was such an astonishing experience. At first I thought that it had something to do with her and that she must be an elevated soul to be able to do this. But after her around 7-8 more friends and fellow Kailash pilgrims embraced me and the feeling of this stream of light flowing to and fro my heart kept growing. I realised the scriptural truth behind the science of an embrace. The purpose of an embrace is to connect the heart chakras of two souls. It is spiritually the highest form of gesture to show love. Thus it is that when Sri Rama wanted to show His love for Hanuman, He embraced Him. Perhaps my numb state of body permitted me to recognise this subtle exchange which is otherwise lost to us in our gross body awareness. In the region of Kailash such experiences and awareness was effortlessly possible.

Connecting the heart Chakra - Hugging Mohanji @ Mansarovar

The leader of our group, a saintly figure - Mohanji, who had been keeping us spiritually oriented on this journey, asked for us. We greeted him as he kindly spoke to us and blessed us for our efforts. Skipping dinner, I crashed upon the first bed available, set up in a humble and rustic cowshed. A friend came over and kindly massaged my head, given the constant headache one feels in the high altitude. I fell asleep immediately and then had the experience which was the crowning glory of my trip.

Just a night before we had had the privilege of sleeping very close to the most visible part of Mt Kailash, the north face. This night in my dreams I had a visitation of the embodiment of Shiva Shakti. As I slept, I found Baba appear in my dream, in a very young and handsome form looking intently at me with a smile on his face which seemed to say “So, you did it!” I hurriedly approach Him to greet Him and He loving patted my cheeks as He use to in my days with Him in Trayee Brindavan. I woke up the next day still feeling the gentle sting of His pat on my cheek. The dream soared my spirits as I readied my tired body for the last days trek.

Before I began, I realised that this was the last day of this journey around Kailash. In my attempt to overcome the obstacles of the journey, I (and i guess most of us) had forgotten to enjoy the journey itself. So this day I decided to take it easy as the last day was an easy walk  compared to other days. 

I walked my path more in awareness of the mountains, streams, the flora and fauna, the beautiful blue skies and nature around me. I stopped every now and then and lay on the grassy mound looking at the sky, feeling the sun, closing my eyes, breathing the air, listening to the awesome silence. The beauty around me was breathtaking. The thought of leaving this paradise was depressing; going back to the chaotic world seemed like entering darkness.

Sitting on the grounds, soaking in Kailash - 3rd day of Kora

I walked even slower fearing the end would come soon. At this stage the Kailash was no longer visible to the eye, though its presence was strongly felt. Knowing the end to be near, I stopped and faced the sacred mountain, went on my knees and tried to connect with the same divine energy which had so generously made itself available yesterday. I prayed deeply asking it to keep me here with it, that this felt like home. The thought of the world with all its agendas seemed repulsive. I pleaded like a child. 

In an instant that energy in all its strength was there once again. In a fatherly way it declared -
Why fear the darkness of the world, for now each of you carry the light of Kailash within. Know that light to be within you always and spread it to all until you realise not else but the light that you truly are!”

Once again the image of a golden Kailash seemed to impress upon my consciousness. I understood that geography had no bearing on the truth. That the truth was within me and it was for me to realise it wherever divine providence had placed me. Deeply uplifted I walked along reaching the end of my most blessed journey.

At the end of my sacred adventure,, with 86 other Gods and Goddesses

Truth be told, a small part of me doubted my experiences. I wondered if the high mountain airs and my tiredness caused me to hallucinate. I did not share any of these experiences with anyone, holding it deep within me revisiting it again and again to see if its impact on me lost its power with time. But even with passing time, I still felt the awe recalling what I had experienced, and never could shrug it off as my imagination. Eventually my everyday life overwhelmed my mind and I lost awareness of the sacred message... until the mountains drew me to them and gave me this message yet again; this time in …

Badrinath Temple, July 2015

A temple is a mirror reflecting  God within each one of us..

As I sat at the foot of the sanctum sanctorum, absorbing the wisdom that I was graced with, I decided to put things to one final test.

Throughout this journey I was carrying prayer requests on behalf of acquaintances who were suffering various challenges in life. In all my prayers I was not able to successfully let go and surrender these requests to God. They would remain with me, worry me and bear heavy on my being. So, I thought, if my experience in this temple was true, then I should be able to pray on behalf of all those people and at the end get up feeling light and relieved, convinced that my prayers were heard and that all those people would be taken care of.

With that, I closed my eyes and one by one remembered those in need, putting their prayers forward to the divine presence that one could tangibly feel in the temple. Unlike other times, this time I did receive a response.

As I visualised the person I prayed for, surrendering him or her to God, I saw a bright light emerging from their heart, expanding and overwhelming their being to an extent that the person himself was lost in its sea of brightness. This pure light was full of strength, wisdom, love and optimism. No amount of doubts could shrug off this image from my mind. It was a very encouraging and heartening sight. I tried to see where the problems of the person were in face of this light. To my surprise, I could see they still existed, even though in a very minuscule form, although it was easy to know that the light could overwhelm the darkness easily.. yet it remained. I realised then that the problems and issues in form of this darkness has its place and karmic purpose in those peoples lives. 

The Light ~ around you, within you, is you..
Yet again an inner voice explained -

This is the true state of every being in this world. Darkness co-exists with light. Humans focus only on the little darkness that they have invited into their lives; whereas Saints, who are awaken to truth, focus solely on the light which is their true nature. It is for this reason that Saints can cross through this difficult world unconcerned with all the troubles and obstacles that confront them. They choose to live in awareness of the truth that they were, are and ever will be sustained and protected by the light of God which is ever within them around them and is them. This is your truth too and of all the people you pray for.

I opened my eyes and looked into the sanctum sanctorum. This time to my joy I felt relieved of the burden that I had been carrying around with me. I felt my prayers had been heard and all those people would be taken care of in a way which was for their highest good. I quickly bowed to the alter, made a small offering and got up in order to give way to others in the vast crowds behind me. 

The Unexpected Grace - The Tulsi garland
Hey Boy”, a voice called me from behind. As I turned, the priest from within the sanctum flung something at me which I had seen him remove from the idol of Sri Badrinath. I caught it and found it was a garland of tulsi leaves which until sometime ago was adorning the handsome form of the idol. Considering this unexpected grace and most precious of prasad as a further proof of the inner communion of the day, I left the temple.

From that day, I tried not to focus on physical darshan of the sacred vigraha in the temple. Sometimes when it was crowded, I sat outside by the side of the temple, meditating upon the Badri form within me. At other times I found myself accompanying those guests who were privileged to receive an invitation to witness the early morning abhishekam within the temple. 

Thats me in the corner - Finding my religion

I knew well that this experience was not the end, but a beginning. The real challenge would now be to live it daily. If maya confronts me with its charms would I be able to remember the presence of the light within me?

A year has now passed and I have fallen and risen many times. Its been nearly 11 months since I wrote the first part of this blog. Frankly, this blog has not revealed anything new under the sun. I am convinced that many souls visiting this sacred realm have experienced such grace in greater measures. And yet I was unsure if I should reveal these experiences at all.. but I have, knowing it to be the truth. 

God is around you, within you, is you, here and now, if you choose to accept this reality as your own. This truth and blessing belongs to everyone. And so I write these words sharing them with you, while sitting at the sacred Mt. Kailash and Badrinath…. The Kailash and Badri in the Heart!

Post Script ~

A few days after my writing this post, I chanced upon the following extracts from a book of spiritual experiences that I was reading. Quote -

"..during meditations, I started receiving very clear messages in form of thoughts. Initially I had great difficulty describing my experience. Since I was not hearing a voice through my ears and I was not seeing a person talking I couldn't tell exactly what was happening where the information was coming from. After several attempts I was able to describe it as a thought in my own mind, but it definitely was not my own thought because some of the things I heard I can hardly comprehend leave out being able to think about them on my own. Though it was not a voice that is normally heard by ears but it gave a voice like feeling. I was able to tell the gender of the voice. from the fluctuations in the tone I could also tell whether it sounded happy, serious or joking etc."

On Healing - " God is in every person. God does not suffer. There is no suffering of the Atman. It is the mind and body when not controlled that goes through sufferings. Sufferings are also due to Prarabdha Karma."

It seemed as if this was brought to my attention to confirm my own experiences, since I was very hesitant to bring it out in the blog. 


  1. I am fascinated by your accounts. I am struggling to plan the yatra to Kailash and would like to know if you can give any tips on planning and travel groups/ agents please


    1. Hello, Thank you for your comments.. Going to Kailash is not just a touristy thing, the company you go with will have huge impact on the quality of your journey. I had gone with a Mohanji's group. There were about 89 of us, mostly spiritually oriented people. You must seek out people online who you can join. Its important to go with a group of like minded people. You can google Kailash with Mohanji and see if it suits you and perhaps can register with them for next year. All the best and blessings!


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