Love for God can take different forms and God returns His love
to His children in a unique variety of ways. The scriptures say that it
is God Himself who has taken each individual form to experience the
varieties of His infinite nature through the course of life and self
realisation.. thus no two souls will have the same experiences in their
path towards God. The Love and Bliss felt by each will have its own
sweet uniqueness..
As a child, once when in a neighboring aunts house,
i heard my Mom and aunt speak about a certain lady who lived at a
distance from our place. Even though i was more busy playing games i
overheard a few things - one, that this lady was quite old and a bit on
the heavier side, so could hardly walk well; second, she had a child
who always stuck to her wherever she went. The child was a handful; the
little thing would insist that this lady take him along everywhere. He
seemed to be about a year and a half or two years old yet was demanding
enough to insist that this lady carry him everywhere she went. He had
many childish demands and would expect this lady to fulfill them.. no
one else should.
I would have forgotten all this quickly but
for the fact that i sensed a certain amount of reverence and awe these women showed while talking about this matter. This was no idle gossip.
Curious, i went up to mom and asked her what was about
this lady.. why couldn't she discipline this child? I myself was about
10 -11 years old then and never troubled my parents and knowing that
this lady was old and i was concerned for her.
My mom
understood at my intent and explained that
this was no ordinary relation.. it was extraordinary. The women, old as
she was, had asked for this 'trouble' and despite the problems she
faced, she couldn't live without these troubles.
The child on the other hand was no ordinary child either. He was Gopal.
Mom
went quite hoping i'd understand.
I didn't.
I just sensed the reverence
with which she said this, so i asked if i knew the child and if i had
seen Him in the neighborhood? Mom replied that i knew the child. This
Gopal was baby Krishna.
I let that sink in. She
further explained that this lady named Harbans Ma, who lived about 50
meters away from our house; was a great devotee of God. She had quietly
undertaken several spiritual disciplines at the end of which she had
received this divine boon.
I was stunned to say the least
and of all the questions i could ask, i remember asking if she would
take me to see the baby and if he was still blue in color. She
replied, sadly yet gently, that no one could see Him save Harbans Ma. He
was invisible to the eyes of other souls. In fact many considered this
whole thing a sham and even spoke ill of her. But a few souls believed
that she was a true saint.
We didnt speak after that.
These facts were perhaps too much for me to take, but i remember being
greatly troubled by them. In a months time i returned to my boarding
school for half a year. All through i thought of this women and the
child. Certain features about this incredible story amazed me.
Firstly
it was hard to believe that a saintly lady of this caliber was living
amongst us. I always thoughts true saints to belong to the distant
unknown past and all that there was left in this modern 21st century
were their fake versions. It seemed highly odd that this incredible soul
lived in such an ordinary place amongst ordinary people.
Secondly
i was troubled at the thought that if this lady, who lived a life just
like any other ordinary human, could reach such heights didnt that mean
that each one of us was capable of the same? But as i looked at the
lives most of us lived i did not see anything there which would take us
to higher goals. Now my parents were pious people. They worshiped God in
our house everyday. Every morning we children woke to my fathers voice
of Veda chanting in a fashion that he had learned from his Gurukul. He
was the only person i knew who would meditate. Yet i knew that it
required extraordinary effort to realise God, and i didnt know anyone
else who was making such efforts. It made me look at our lives and feel
that something big was lacking. It made me restless.
Finally
something about the relation of this sweet old lady and a little
mischievous child stirred my heart. Of the two, i, a boy of eleven,
would relate more with that old lady and mentally experience what it
would be like to have a sweet little Krishna play around and trouble
you. I always loved little children and this added to my yearning.
Somewhere
it struck me as to what a fool i had been. Having heard that the child
couldnt been seen by anyone i had just given up, not ever thinking to go
meet Harbans Ma. But now i was thousands of miles away. So i waited
patiently for my next vacations. Amongst the first things i did when i
reached home was to ask mom to take me to her. My mother sadly mentioned that Harbans Ma was no more.
Harbans Ma
though a householder, did have a disciple by the name Sahu. Mother took
me to her. I was at a loss of words and didnt know what to ask so i sat
quietly. But observing the gentle nature of the disciple it was easy to
make out what an elevated soul Harbans Ma had been. But here is what little i learned of this extraordinary soul who mothered God.
Harbans Ma was a great devotee. Once in a state of devotion she locked herself
inside a room for 3 days refusing to get into the world unless she met
the Divine. God answered her prayers for not only did she glimpse Him,
but he took the form of this little child Krishna and was ever visible
to her.
This Krishna was just as sweet and naughty as the
Bhagavadam mentions Him to be. He wouldnt let Harbans Ma do her household
work but would keep playing around her, demanding attention, making
her run around doing all sorts of errands for him. Often she would get
tired and even angry and scold Him. The child would then weep and eventually fall
asleep. She would feel sorry but the next moment the child would be at
His mischievous best.. Whenever she stepped out, the Baby insisted on
coming along. He also insisted that she carry him. Although invisible to
others, Harbans Ma could apparently feel the weight of the child and
would feel tired when she reached her destination. Other women in whose
house she would come to, stated that physically she showed signs of
exhaustion of having carried a baby. Despite this even when she would
sit on the floor to talk to these ladies, the Baby would often come up
from behind and jump on her back, playing with her, demanding attention,
asking her to now leave and return home.
While doing
chores of the house the Baby would ever be playing around. When cutting
vegetables she would set aside a few vegetables for the Baby to play
with. At night the Baby would sleep alongside her always.
The yogi's and rishi's realise God in a variety of ways. I had always read
that God elevated such worthy souls to His level and how their lives were
filled with Bliss, love and wisdom, until at one time they merged in
Him. But this was such a unique case where the Impersonal God took on a
personal form for the sake of one devotee and lived with her to bless her with joy. What a mysterious and joyous grace! However this was
all i could remember or find about Harbans Ma. Not much else is known by
anyone else.
With passing time i forgot all this and as i grew i even doubted many of the things that i
remembered. But a few days back i had gone to dakshineshwar for Guru
Poornima. There i picked a book about the lives of a few people who
happened to live around the time of Sri Ramamkrishna Paramahansa. Amongst them was this lady named Gopal Ma who, incredibly, underwent the
same experiences as Harbans Ma. Despite having lived in a remote place
over a century ago, some devotee had had the sense and wisdom to record a
few details of her life. Reading about her life (which i will mention
in the next note) gave me a good understanding of such spiritual
experience.
I realised that along with names like Ma
Yashoda, Kaushalya, Devaki, Eashwaramba, Mary there are many other names
of whom the world might never know. I wonder how many of such souls
have graced the earth, hidden from worldly eyes, yet ever awake in the
Divine.
Giridhaari
Mothering God
Krishna's Radha
Lord Krishna and Ustad Bismillah Khan
Speechless !!!
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